My Journal (Entry #1)

This is something I should've done a loooooooooong time ago but it's better late then never right? Twitter only allows you to use 140 characters, Myspace is almost ineffective to some extent and I STILL don't know how to use Facebook (don't ask lol) so I am going to use my personal blog for more, well PERSONAL things. This is the first entry of many. I'm doing it for me (if I don't express how I feel I think I might go insane) just as much as it is for you so with that being said I hope you enjoy.

These past couple of months have been interesting. First and foremost I think I am blessed. As an unsigned artist I've appeared on countless websites and blogs, magazines such as XXL and The Source, Hot 97 and Music Choice on Demand just to name a few. I rocked at this year's Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival, got my own official T shirt made (Much love to IM KING Clothing), had BI-Coastal Release parties AND most important of all received ALOT of love from the people for my new album "The Breakfast Club". You would think I should be happy right?

Some of you reading this may or may not know alot about me. Many people assume I am a signed artist for one thing. I'm not. Some may think I am making tons of money now. Not true. Most believe that my time is coming. Who knows? Here are some facts. I struggle day in and day out to make these things happen for my career. I have tried my hardest to make the best music I can possibly make with the tools at my disposal (no matter how minimal they may be) and am proud of what I have achieved in these past few years. I've suffered many losses since I started, some of which I may never fully recover from and it is not getting any easier.

Today I just took a walk in the rain. I wasn't headed anywhere in particular, just wanted to clear my head. These days, moments of clarity are very hard to come by. Many things are happening in front of your eyes and behind the scenes that make it difficult for me to stay focused at times but I never want you, my supporters to see my vulnerability. I try to be a strong example for all of those who watch and believe but even my knees buckle sometime. Pursuing this dream of mine has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done and many nights I just want to throw in the towel. Real Talk.

Emotions such as jealousy or hate have never been traits of my personality but sometimes even I can feel it coming on. I look at other artists and think to myself "Why am I not where they are?" and start to question things. I wonder why is it so hard for me at times to achieve my goals. I think things are unfair and in a perfect world, everything would be the opposite but that is a disillusion. When it's all said and done, I have to count my blessings and just keep on trucking. Things such as this picture posted above remind me of the things that are possible. My supporters who believe in me give me strength to keep going and the loved ones in my life, who put up with all my bullshit that ya'll don't see are the backbone to my life and career. So with that being said, I won't ever give up. I'm riding to the wheels fall off and no matter how angry, upset, sad or disappointed I may be I won't ever let it break me. Period.

I love ya'll. Thanks for making me who I am today.